Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
