that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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