Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Enjoy the penises
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
