What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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