R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
