my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
