they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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