dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
