Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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