I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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