she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
BRING THE BAGELS
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
