I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
