It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize