some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
did you just send me my own nude
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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