it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
