Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
