Nicole vs. Life
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
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