Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
