Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
