Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
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MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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