I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
