look no pants
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
