This show inspires me to have sex in space
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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