So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
