I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
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i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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