His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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