it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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