your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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