great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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