my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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