Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
