Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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