is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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