I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
