it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
