im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
