Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
