She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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