who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
