Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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