is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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