playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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