is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
sarcasm needs its own font
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I am available for nakedness
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
