Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
