There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
