I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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