Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
