she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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