yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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