I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i came on her dog
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's never too late to be topless.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
