I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
