He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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