i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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