Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
