I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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