porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
there is puke in my bra ... again
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