I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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