I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
