Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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