he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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