just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Watching her eat just hurts me
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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