I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
