He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
