I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
