She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize